One day everything is fine, the next it feels like your boyfriend is trying to create some distance between the two of you. It’s important to remember that (most) men don’t do that just for the fun of it, even if it does feel like he’s playing games with your heart. Here are a few possible explanations for his behavior.
1. THINGS ARE GETTING TOO SERIOUS TOO FAST.
Most of us aren’t keen to jump into anything head first. We may genuinely like you, but it can be an overwhelming feeling for us. If your relationship somehow went from 0 to 60 overnight, there’s a good chance he’s going to slam on the metaphorical breaks and try to create some distance in order to slow things down. When things get serious, we think we’re losing our independence, and our instinct is to cling to that independence as long as possible.
2. THERE’S SUDDEN PRESSURE ON THE RELATIONSHIP.
Did you two just say “I love you” for the first time? Did you just move in together? If something happened to suddenly make your relationship super serious, some guys will instinctually pull away. We typically like to know that there’s an easy way out of a relationship if we want to take it, but if things are suddenly serious, we feel like we lose that option, so we pull away to see if we can find it just in case.
3. YOU’RE NOT THE ONE HE IMAGINED HIMSELF WITH LONG-TERM.
Admittedly, this will be tough not to take personally. As mentioned, when guys to feel a relationship is getting serious, we freak out. This could manifest into thinking about whether we intended to end up with you or someone like you. We may reflect on past girlfriends or think about our “type.” Rest assured, your boyfriend should get past this. He just needs to come to grips with the fact that this may not be the way he scripted things, even if ending up with you is for the best.
4. HE’S OVERWHELMED BY HIS EMOTIONS.
Spoiler alert: most men aren’t that great at dealing with their emotions. Shocking, right? If he’s fallen hard for you, he may be freaked out about all of the feelings he’s experiencing, even positive ones. Don’t take it personally; he’s just not used to being so emotionally invested in something and doesn’t know how to react. Pulling away from you is one way for him to cope with his feelings until he figures out that they’re not so bad.
5. HE CAN SEE THE END OF THE AISLE.
If a guy just proposed or is thinking about proposing, it’s normal for him to pull away a little bit. It’s not that he doesn’t want your relationship to end with marriage, he’s just a little nervous about the finality of it. Men aren’t quite as focused on a relationship ending in marriage as some women tend to be, so the thought of knowing that this relationship is heading down the aisle takes some getting used to.